memoiRs Of tHe dyiNg

all thinGz in liFe are tempoRary..

a wise person once told me "pril, pang-short term kah noh??"

well..yes..i am one..

i believe..everything in life is temporary..there’s no such thing as permamnent..exCept maybe change..

everything moves..everything changes..everything leaves..when i say everything..i mean everything..even life itself..

i have lived my life long enough..oh wait..that makes me sound old..hmm…ow here’s the right one..

i have experiences enough to say that in life, everyting leaves..they somehow leave you..

give you any reason, or leave without any reason at all..not that will hurt..any who..

and just for this reason, i live life to the fullest..i get attached to something and once i sense something is wrong, that separation is near..i prefer to go..or i would ask,.

anyways..that is what my life is..and that is what i prefer it to be..

i had been traumatized once by being too attached to my friends..and where do i end up????

alone..confused..lost..i didn’t know where to  go..they had different paths..lives..i don’t want to intrude..it’s not me..

NOW..i learned to stand up on my own..bieng INDEPENDENT..learning new things is what i do..and i learn things easily..

and here’s another insight..once you go, you go…there is a chance for yOu to come baCk to my life..but mind yOu..it is a really REALLY SLIM  chance that it would be juSt like before..but hey..if you’re willing to take the risk..i dont know what i’d do.

this is me..PANG-Short Term..i had 2-yr boyfriend once..but that didn’t go well..i had more fun and memories with my 4-month bf..oh by the way..they are ex-bf’s nah..

anyway..that is me..

THIS IS ME NOW..although being ME sometimes makes me lonely..well that is the price i am willing to pay to be me..you can’t always happy..i am most of the time happy..and when i am lonely, no one otices..either no one cares..or i am just a great actress..

no one knows me..probably because i don’t know me..but as Of now..

I A M HAPPY OF WHAT I AM NOW..

maybe next year, i would change..or maybe not..i dunow..

but as of now..

I HAVE NO PLANS OF CHANGING…

happy cHristmas to oNe and all

    may yOur new yEar become

prosperous and life-changing..:)

hElow!!

people are suddenly intrigued by the cleavage thing..is that how this world is gonna be now??show skin to be popuLar??show more skin so that you could be center of attention??heheh..rambling..

actually here’s my belief..

"if yOu have it, flaunt it."

it doesn’t necessarily mean i’ve gone wiLd..i’ve gone desperate..i’ve gone looking for something i don’t have..

it just means i’m proud of what i have..and there’s nothing wrong with me(or nothing i want to have), if i flaunt what i have..i am PROUD of it..

according to denise, "diety of opulence"..by definition..goddess of wealth..goddess of abundance..thanx denz for that wonderful compliment..i appreciate that..^^

well..that’s what i have..and that’s what i am proud of..^^..yOu people say "i sooo like the picture"..and i say "thanx,..i appreciate that"..

if i were to post any cleavage pics once again, just let me be..it jUst means i am bored with my life..i have nothing to do..and in time..those pictures would be gone from my profile..beacause i get tired of things so easily..ever wonder y my relationships doesn’t last??hmm..

maybe i’ll change..maybe i wont..i dunnow..

i do like the attention..bUt it actually depends where the attention is coming from..

if yoU are a friend in real life, it is not yoU i am talking about..dont be hurt..

for the strangers out there, lay off..a-holes of the worst kind..pervs!!..hmmff..

PS: if y’all think i am in a bad mood..then you are wrong..i am actually in a good mood right now..^^..i just feel like rambling away all my thoughts and things..^^..my day went well..i just hope tomorow won’t be ruined..-.-..gud niGHt guys..got to get ready for our christmas party tomorow..wish us luck!!^^..loveyoudidon!!^^

yOu know who u are..kana bitawng tawo nah feeler au na xa ako gturYaan dini sa ako blog..bwahahah..

adah oie..dghan kau tawo nah pwd..y did u feel na ikaw ako gsturyaan about??tskk..tskk..hahaaha..

bitaw..bhala n man kah sa emu life..saon nah lng..bwahahah..nalingaw ko..

i still care for you u know..ahahha..chege oie..

chuwi if hurts kah..ahahah..

sa maegOh lang..^^

i’ve seen two movies now that are portraying fLings sa mga lead stars..

is there some meaning to it?? is that where my life is headed??no serious relationships headed my way?? a life fuLL of fLings??

chAr!!!hahah..hear me yearning for a serious relationship..hahha..fuNNy..i’m not actually yearning..bUt i was juSt wondering if i could last in that kind of relationship..i think so..i am willing to try..but no one is really willing to try with me..buhuhu..hehe..

hehe..i guess this is me being bored with my life..i hope magdutY na mi soon..i miSs being buSy..

macKy is right..i wish mabUsy na mi so that there would be nothing else to think about..la na’y lain problemahon..nothing else to worry about..

wiSh: i wish our busy days would come back!!! i would not ask for more..

Ms. A is listening to her teacher neuro. When her teacher asked a classmate a question, Ms. A turns to her classmate and tried to listen. She subconsciously twirled a lock of her hair in her hand. The teacher suddenly pointed to MS. A, "you are schizophrenic". Ms A asked "how can you say, maam?". "Are you doing that (twirling of hair) intentionally?", said the teacher. "Yes", lied Ms. A. then the teacher went back to the subject. This got her thinking..Is she really schizophrenic? Is she diseased? Is she sick?

Going over her history, we obtained this data.

She experienced the following symptoms of schizophrenia along with their definitions:

a. ambivalence - she doesnt appear to hold an opinion for a person since she knows that when someone says the same opinion she has, she’d change her mind.

b. Echopraxia - she has a tendency of imitating people’s movements and gestures

c. ideas of reference - false impressions that external events have special meaning to the person

d. Flight of ideas - continuous flow of verbalization in whih=ch the person jumps rapidly from one topic to the other

e. Anhedonia - feeling no joy or pleasure from life and any activities or relationships.

f. Catatonia - immobility(as if in a trance) marked by periods of agitaion or excitement

g. lack of volition -absence of will, ambition or drive to take action or accomplish task

Ms. A is confused about what she really is. She is now stressed about other stuff too. What does she have to do? Any suggestions??

here’s my thing.. i think of something to write about here..then i say "later.."..when later comes, i forget..

i guess its probably coz no one bothers to read this stuff anymore..no one cares..

oNce..i was planning to make this a diary blog..people get to know what i do everyday..but there are stuff that happened that i just couldn’t tell other people..ahmm..i couldn’t..

my life..

it has been a bit quiet..i haven’t been unli for a week now.. i have no urges now,.hehe..no temptations YET..

MOTIVATION: no money..hehe

witH all the things im gonna spend on..i have no way of spending my money on load..

seXon D is planning on having a party..change that..we ARE really gonna have a party..and there’s a thing called exchange gifts..where we really do have to exchange gifts..i dunnow what i’m gonna give to who ever i got..i have no idea..

KULASAW+ is havin’ one too..ahmm..i dunow what im gonna give again..let’s just say we are not close..we are "barkada" but..ahmm..yeah..

nwe..that’s it..i am really hoping someone i want to read this, read this..but thats near to impossible..that someone doesnt really want to waste time..and i certainly have no right..xet..i’m talking crap..

ahmm.. there are things i really want to talk about..but there are people who are either too happy or too miserable to care..

if its too happy, i wouldn’t dare ruin his day by talking xet to him

if its too miserable, i wouldn’t add my crap to his misery..

there are times that even if you’re not both those things, i still woudn’t talk..

i dunnow..im positively super bored with my life..there’s no spark in it anymore..i’m tired of reading always..knowing exactly what things are gonna be..no thrill..

if its possible, my adrenal glands are goin’ to atrophy..u don’t use it, u lose it right??

so if there’s no thrill, no use of adrenaline..gosh!! i am pathetic..gahd!!!save me..i am really really bored..if u’d txt and i would be interested with your offer, maybe i will load and say yes..

but continuous disappointments are bad..u start missing a person, when u start caring..u start hating when he doesn’t care..i messed up..totally..

kiLL me..no one’s gonna miss me anyways..

ah,,..i really thot i was right..

i guess knowing the truth is better than not knowing at all..but now i am hurting..gahD..

if i was given a chance to do it all over again..i know i would have done better..

this just proves i am that stUpid..being fooled..gaHd,,

i’m crying inside..

when someone asks me if i am okay..i know i would say "i’m fine"..

i never, in my life, tell a person/ friend..i am devastated..it would have been better if did’nt do what i did..

goSh..i knew it was coming.. i thought i was really prepared..i knew it..gOsh.. i shouldn’t have depended on him..

i feel like crying..but i know i’m not a cry-and-tear person..

i know nobody can help me but myself..i can only distract myself..

but right now..its difficult to distract myself..

i am noT unLi..i am nOwhere near having a boyfriend..i know i cannot trust my friends to do sonething.. i know they cant do nuthin.. my family doesnt need to know..i am miserable..

i guess all i can do now is wallow in self-pity and be depressed and miserable..it is what i have been since after the event ended..

it SUCKS havin’ a failing grAde..

—–waaaahhhh!!! emU githink ke uYab noH??!!! eeeeEEww..never would i think of exposing my relationships in pubLic..and there’s noThing more publiC than the internet..heheh..Bye guYs..

Eow, my name is eEn2.
I am empty, open, nothing but potentiality,
make me of me what you will,
fill me with what you want.
Most of my life has been spent pouring
dubious substances into the tanks.
Now I’m draining then,
hosing them down,
sluicing them out.
I am now heartless
- the death of love.
If you ask me
- and I have now had time to think about this
-LOVE- or what people call "LOVE"-
is just a system for getting people
to call you ‘Darling’ after sex.
Romance is basically for the weak-minded.
Bite me. I don’t want your pity.
I’m wiser than I used to be,
and you can’t patronise me so easily now.
You may not like me (perhaps you never did).
But as I say,
I’m no longer in
the business of being liked..