memoiRs Of tHe dyiNg

hehe.. i finaLLy kNow whAt mY dreAmt mEant..hehehe..OMG..gRaveH naH dAy.,

ahMmm.. i juSt pRay to God mubaLek tOh naH day..hehehe..OMG day..^^..sooo haPpppi..^^

hahah…

ConfEssions of aN oLd mAn…

bwahhahahaha….

oNe of the mysteries of liFe..

hahahaha

i dReamt bOut him..anD it was weiRd..well, weird foR me bEcausE tHis was actuAlly the firSt tiMe i drEamt abOut him..eVen duRing anD after tHe inCident..it wAs reallY weirD,,.i spEnt tHe whoLe day trYing my bEst to inTerpret tHe dreAm anD i had come up wiTh no,as in, zer0 anSwers as tO why..

i thoUght may be i stiLL love him and has never forgotten him since..but i am just hiding what i truly feel..i don’t know..

i really do want to be friends wiTh him..i think we are…we communicate buT not thaT much..buT i waNt more of thAt..bUt i dOn’t knOw how..

before i leave i would jUst liKe to quote Sarah Jessica Parker in Sex and the City:

"How can I think of my future if the past is still present?"

i guess i’ll just play this by ear..

nEver jUd ma-AvoiD sa uSa ka tAwo na mu-compAre..

sAkit ako ngipon..

katULgon ko..

kApoi ako bOdy..

hahai,..

hEre we gO again..

engAtz y’aLL..

kiLL me..it maY be bAd..bUt i dun likE her..hamF..

sXn D knOws..damN!! ok..bYE nOw..

lessOn lEarned:

                nEver expect thingS to  be soMething so tHat yOu’ll never be disaPpointed.

dAng!!i haTe DR duty..unSah maN toH ui.. ga-"expect" ko nah prehas xa sA OR na bibo.. huhu..i am so disappointed kaau..8-hr duty..noThing..huhuhu..

pLus pah jUd naa lage paxente, gikawat pud ni mam ang case..matod pah ni anthon, xxxxeeeeetttt..mingAw ko OR..huhuhu..pWd mag-OR na lang ko pirmi??huhuhu…

anyway, yOn..alReady sLept fOr 8hrs nah..i am hunGry..i aM bOred..i have nOthin to do..

niTxt siyA..la ko loD..ahehe..mwuah..chUwi..^^

bantAye lanG ang keywoRD..:)))

WHOLE DAY, natuLog ko..sinz:

• la’y lingaw
• la nitxt si yenG na adtoh ko skuL..
• la’y nanghanggat ug laag..
• nagtanAw kow moVie..k rah pD..^^

sa lunch..nagtAn-aw dadi ug WOWOWEE..naay nag-danz ug bomtarat-tarat..gahE au jUd pagsayaw..ahehe..

hEre’s tHe weird parT..

CHARACTERS:   guy1- gUy1                     guy2- gUy2

                     guy3- gUy3                     ako- mE

  naglakaw ko padUng skuL..gsbAy mi ni gUy1..gauniForm..nagtabi daUn mi sa isA ka coRner..labay si guy2..gacivilian..labay xa usab gdala ug celophane..ahehe..lakaw mi padaun ni guy1..nalabyan namu si guy2, napalit ug pan..ana xa "hulata ko..mag-uniform lang ko.." ..so wait mi..whiLe waitin ana si guy1 "pril, wa man lingaw.."..ana ko "huh?" sayaw daun xa..knW what eyA gisaYaw???—bomtarat-tarat..hahaha..hUmok xa lawas lyt..abot daun si guy2..ana xa "wa man na’y ayu, pare..kani jud.."..gUess what he did??..nag-" bomtarat-tarat" xa..ahaha..very chaka his version of bomtarat-tarat..ahehehe..after ana,we were padung najud skuL..when out of nowhere, ni-appear si guy3..guess unsa iYa gbuHat???…ahahaa..bomtarat-tarat..ahaha..

can u say wEird??ahehehe…pgmata nako, kaon guD daun ko..kaguTom rah siguro nako toh..ahehehe..

cge wui..gBu..\m/..

bomtarat-tarat… bomtarat-tarat..tararat..tararat..bombombom..hahahahahaha…..

sa bUntag, nAgtEst mi for OR..ahm..oK lang xa..maBuhe raH..^^..

________________________________________________

sa haPon, tEst mi sa Nutri..exemption exam..amBot naUnsa tOh..

afTer tHat adtoH ko oFis wiTh chLoe..aKo nag-inJect sa eYa ug hepa baKuna..aNd..ako naheMu ug cashier..i duNnow if enOugh tOh..am so skeRd  basin sAup anG pagsUkLi..huhu..(T.T)..

nOnsense man tOh ako gipanGyaw-yaw..ang siGnificant is thiS..

nagKita mi..katoH si someone2x..ahehe..xa pah ang gikiwahaN sa ako..funnY..ako muRag waLa lang..i thot to myseLf..y man ko na "inLove" sa eya??? ahehehe..OMG kau ko..daS oL..

y man magheMu ug bLog anG tawo..di mAn japUn xa pambasAhon sa ubAn..it takes time, effort and neuRons(one dies everytime you think..tru??you tell me.:)..i know nonsense..buT who’s stopping me??

i had exposed none of myself..

>>big ben..birthday bash.. i have no idea there was going to be one..but they txted me..so i came..questions i picked were luckily enough not emo in some ways..

• QUESTION: who is the one person you want to trade places with?
• ANSWER: one of SXN A because i sorely miss my duty in the OR of GTLMH..
• THEIR COMMENTS: safe answer..
• MY THOUGHTS: so??? it’s what i was thinking..and frankly, that’s the truth..those were one of the persons i want ot trade places with..if you know me better, you would know i never tell lies in barkada sessions..shhheeessh..

>>i dont display myself that much..and that oppurtunity to expose me was not tempting..the food was great..the company was the best..the questions and answer thingy would have been much better at a different place..

>>after that, i went to school and saw just the guy i wanted to see..BUT i know in myseLf the knowledge that i know..

i had experienced an event..

>>well,..ALMOST..

>>i was given a chance to spend time with someone i soreLy miss..but instead i ended up with totaLLy ignoring(azn deama) the oppurtunity..i totally REGRET what i did..bUt i know thaT it was the RIGHT thing to do..i don’t want to meSs up something that is totally perfect..

>>buT there are times in life where "the RIGHT thing feels so WRONG" and "the WRONG thing feels so RIGHT"..

>>i totally regret it and wished i could turn back time and gRab the oppurtunity and spend time with that person..but i know later on..i would destroy a perfect thing in this non-perfect world..i don’t want to be that kind of a person..

>>i know later if God will give me that same chance..i would grab it immediately..AND i KNOW that no one has been lucky enough to be given the same oppurtunity twice..so THERE’S NOTHING I COULD DO..iLL just HAVE TO forget that certain event where i could be happiest..

i have witnessed a disaster..

>>yes, i did..it was awful..

>>it was tragic..i want to help..but i dont know how..i really do..

>>this is for YOU:

                        i hope you’ll remember that "GOD doesn’t give you problems you cant handle..it may seem like a tragedy noW but one day..when all this is over, we’ll look back and realize the good of the tragedy..

                        i guess with this one..one good would be: showing who youR real friends are..they would be the one assisting you through all this..and i am willing to assist you all the way..no worries..no thanks needed..you’ve thanked me enough..

sorry to end this entry on a sad note..but i reaLLy want to do this..and you can’t do nuthin..yOu’re just reading and probably you’ll just comment..but ultimately you’ll realize, there’s no use..you cant help me..because when you ask..i won’t tell..

i am sad.. no one knows..:’(

nAa kOy naBasAhan na LEtter by miss D(no, diLi si diAnne) to someone..and i wonder..i coUld do tHat to sAy goodbYe for somEthinG i thOught we(me aNd soMeone2x) hAd..anD somEthing i thOught coUld lasT..

tHen i thoUght.. it woUld onLy re-"live" memories i doN’t waNt to thinK abOut.. i knOw iT shOws i havEn’t moVed on yEt..bUt tHere’s stiLL soMething in me hOping for tHAt oNe thiNg to hAppen..

in mE, i coUldn’t affOrd to loSe hoPe..i so wAnt this tO haPpen..bUt i kNow, dEep within thAt if i cOntinuE hopiNg, i’LL eNd uP huRting mYseLf..AND i reALLy dOn’t wAnt to exPerience that agAin..

i kNow in love tHere alWays is huRt,.you’d knOw yOu’ve loved whEn yoU are huRt..in loVing, yOur arE risking yOurseLf to be hUrt..

aNd now i’m getting tOo serious for mYseLf..^^.. in fact, yOu onLy see tHe serious side of me oNce in a blue mOon..bUt there’s a messAge i received tHat woULd hiT me reaLLy reaLLy hard:

>> "Behind my sweet smiles, cheerful jokes, is not always a happy story..rememBer thAt..DRY eyes doesn’t always mean DRY pillows.."<<

yep..to my friends(per say), tHey thinK i am haPpy..i thinK i am..i likE tO think i Am..WAIT!! i am hAppy bUt if tHE thinG i waNt wouLd haPPen i woUld be evEn haPpier..

nO onE reaLLy knOws me..no!!Lyndon knows me.. i’d like to taLk to him bUt we are bOth buSy with things we cAn’t stop..so i’LL have to keep this inSide of me..unTiL we have tiMe for eacH oTher and tALk.. i am nOt tHe oNe who baRges into Lyndon’s hOme..nOt knowing tHat i woUld disturb him in a way..

i gots to go now..bUt there’s this messaGe thaT i wouLd love to leave behiNd for my "friEnds":

>> "Just because my eyes are not in tears it doesn’t mean my heart doesn’t cry.. aNd jUst becaUse i cOme out STRONG doesn’t mEan there’s noThing wrOng.. Often, i cHoose tO be hAppy so i dOn’t haVe to exPLain mYseLf to pEople whO woUld never evEn uNderstand..SMILING has always been eaSier tHan eXpLaininG whY i’m sAd.." <<

i dOn’t need help.. I don’t need to tAlk..

i jUst need to do this.. bYe guys!! ^^